My commute this morning to work…

Hit the road, suspect traffic, decide to grab McDonald’s for the road trip breakfast.

Waiting at stop light to turn into Mickey D’s, realize I didn’t put any fragrance on, grab the Chanel bottle and spritz.

Light turns, go through drive thru, hit the road. Instantly hit traffic. Enjoy McMuffin, jam out to some new tunes, casually check Facebook…and we were moving again.

Traffic slows to a crawl, reach into purse for allergy meds, may as well multitask. Grab my watch floating around the bag. Put it on, reach back into purse, come across lip gloss. Apply gloss as traffic crawls, reach back into purse, find medicine at the same time as my hand finds a wisp brush, decide to clean teeth. Traffic picks up.

Jerk cuts me off. #$$^#@$$@$^$@#^%^&^%*%E$%@#$!!!!!!!

RAGE!!!!! And so it begins. I yell, scream, honk, and flip him off. Pshhhh a New Yorker. Of course. Traffic slows and a good song comes on. Wisp teeth and rock out as traffic picks up. Finally we are going 50 and BAM. Jerks slam on their brakes. $%^^%$%^&%^Y#$%Y&%^&!!!!! RAGE!!!!!

The cycle continues. Slam on brakes then they fly off, I pick up speed, they hit the brakes. Rage ensues. Gangster rap fuels my rage and I am mother effing left and right. Traffic slows down to a crawl.

I check my Facebook. Grab a mint. Change my song. Ponder the day. And traffic picks up. We got steadily for a minute or two the brake lights and everyone and their mother begins to merge. Giant 18 wheeler tries to smush me into a median. #$^*%$^%^&%$^$%^%^&^#%&!!!!!! RAGE!!! This commute seriously caused me so much anxiety and rage. The traffic on the highway here is so unpredictable and ridiculous-sometimes it takes me 10 minutes to get to work, sometimes it takes 45. Hence the greater potential for being late, hence my road rage.

Day 17. Stop the road rage.

Just kidding, my mom is from Jersey. It’s in my blood.

Day 17. Reduce the road rage and avoid cursing and middle finger flips to my fellow travelers. Much better.